oh, but to have grace like that...

What does the kingdom of God look like – that’s what some are asking…what does it look like on a daily basis? What does this new world mean for me? These are the questions that stir in my head and in my heart.

There is a growing “talk” on BT’s blog regarding this and the discussion of just how big is the grace of God. I don’t know, I don’t think I will ever know, understand, begin to comprehend or be able to fathom the grace of someone who loves me despite my filth and dirt, who loves me even when I am unlovable and loves me even when I can’t quite figure Him out. I still struggle with the fact, on most days, that my husband loves me as unfailingly and as passionately as he does, even when I don’t deserve it. If I can’t quite grasp how he can love me so much – how can I even begin to understand how much God loves me?

Maybe that’s just it, that’s the mystery that keeps us forever pursuing the heart of God…the quest to learn to love like that, to have grace like that, to be as compassionate as that, as abandoned as that, to love without expecting love in return, to give knowing that you may not be given in return…maybe that in itself is it.

I have to drive to another affiliate today and I think I will ponder these thoughts as I drive into the spring sunshine. My husband is leaving for a writing conference in tomorrow’s early morn and I will miss him…he and Phil the Presbyterian are heading to Calvin College. He submitted a manuscript and will find out if he has or has not been chosen to become a published author. Even if he isn’t, I am still just as proud of him as I will ever be for putting the pen to the paper and creating a masterpiece out of his own heart.