return from silence...

As I sipped my mug of hot coffee (oh yes, how I have missed my coffee…my unborn baby had not been a fan of coffee and so I had been on a nine month break from it’s goodness), listened to the birds greet the morning, watched the morning sun begin to rise higher into the sky and the children walk past my front door to school, I realized that I had not posted on my blog in so very long. And so, a return from a too long hiatus but a return feeling like “me” again…the last couple months of pregnancy really took a toll on me, I felt like I was in some sort of suspended animation, watching life as it happened but not being able to mentally, emotionally or physically engage in it. Thankfully I have an incredibly supportive husband who has been more than understanding and patient with me. I had a sort of epiphany in golf aisle of Wal-Mart the other night – I turned to him and said you know, I feel really good, I feel like me again, I feel like I have come home. The next couple of months at home will be very, very good for the husband and I to reconnect. I have missed him and feel like I have missed out on so much lately.

My days are busy and full now with Ms. Bailey and all the wonder that a three week old brings – she is incredible and I am humbled by the fact that her father and I were able to create such life.She amazes me every day and every day my love for her grows. I am over the initial frustrations of having my otherwise structured life suspended – it is hard to go from being at work every day to being at home with no set schedule, but I am really enjoying it and already fear that the time will go too fast and I will be returning to work before I even realize it. We are all (yes, even the cat who seems to understand that she needs to resign herself to the fact that this crying child is not leaving) falling into a routine of sorts and it feels good and right.

The husband has been incredibly busy with Ms. Bailey, me, the church, getting schoolwork finished for his upcoming doctoral class next month and most importantly, with his beloved garden. I am so proud of him and his garden, it is amazing! We make a trip down every night to check the progress and every day there is something new to look at. The size and speed by which the plants continue to grow is astonishing and we are both anxious for the first “harvest”. I got kicked off the internet earlier this morning and so now, I have finally regained a connection. Since then the sun has faded and, as I finish posting this a hard, dark rain has begun to fall and nourish the nature outside, it is wonderful to watch it fall from the kitchen window, such a peace and a calm over the prairie this day.

Listening - rain and the hum of the washing machine fighting with Ellis Paul for audible attention
Reading - nothing right now...gasp!!