rebirth on a friday afternoon...

I love the view from my window at work, I sit five stories above a street lined with old Victorian homes and there is a school playground in view. I can watch the kids at recess swing and swing and swing until their little hearts are content. From my perch I can see “church corner” where there are four churches intersecting at each street corner and I have been able to watch the trees, this week, turn that majestic, brilliant green of fresh spring and new life. Spring is finally here and I am so thankful for the warmer weather, the fresh smells, the signs of growth and rejuvenation.

I am excited about the new life that will be here before we know it, in almost a little more than five weeks. I am very anxious to meet our daughter on the outside, to see her eyes shine, her first smile, her tiny little fists and toes. Her father is so excited to meet her too and his excitement can not be contained, it is so incredible to see him so excited and anxious about meeting this new little person that we created – which is still pretty amazing to me. Her dad has worked very hard at creating a wonderfully warm and inviting nursery for her and the final piece, her crib, arrived today.

This has been one of those weeks where you truly stand at the threshold of Friday night and say thank you God it is over. I had to have a granuloma (a.k.a. small growth) removed from my thumb on Tuesday and while in town for that my car broke, the next day the husband’s car was in the shop. I am really getting physically uncomfortable as far as being as pregnant as I can be in this body. A co-worker of mine suffered a miscarriage this week only two days after finding out she was pregnant and my mom’s body is beginning to reject her new liver so she is starting a treatment regime for that.

I have been thru the gauntlet of emotions in the last two days ranging from complete and utter brokenness to anger and wondering why even bother? And I know why I do, as my mom told me last night, “the God who loved me yesterday still loves me today”. And I know that the God who loves me today still loves me, even though he and I had a long screaming match on my way home from work yesterday. He still wants to pull me into his arms and be my Abba Father and with a weary spirit, I will enter that embrace. Some days and weeks are just harder than others. But I just have to look out my window at the rebirth of nature to know that each season is meant for something, that each death brings a new life and that all things work for good.